The following was a letter I once posted to the letters page of Future Publishing's New Computer Express magazine for a laugh back in 1990. To my amazement, it actually got published in issue 77 (28 April 1990). The bit above the photo and the photo were posted by me. The bit underneath was the reply it got (written by Martyn Lester), and the caption was also added by the N.C.E. editorial team.

Oops upside your head, and other meaningless statements...

Ever since I got my first 3.5-inch disks, I have always stored them with that little metallic part facing downwards, whereas my friend has his disks with the metallic bits facing upwards. Is there a correct method of storing them, or is one of us storing them upside down?
To make my contribution to 'My dog has more fleas than yours' debate, you may, if you wish replace STE with your own computer.
My STE has more fleas than your Nintendo because the ST is more suitable as a buisness machine.
My STE has more fleas than your IBM MS-DOS PC because the ST is more suitable as a games machine.
Enough of that, I have brought in a photo to really show you that my dog has more fleas than yours.

Andrei Ellman, Amsterdam, Holland

A doggy jpeg
If you understand any of this letter you're a better person than me.

Here at Express, we don't seem to have any boxes for keeping our floppies in (I suppose it is one way for Future to keep the cover price down to 58p) and consequently, I 'store' mine by placing one flat on the desk and piling all of the others on top of it in a rather pleasant pyramidal arrangement.
Beyond this, I do not think it is wise to offer any opinion on the correct way up for storing floppies, as this seems to have all the makings of an utterly futile 'my way up is better than yours' debate.
If you and your friend are seriously concerned that one of you is pulling a flanker, then the way to establish strategic parity is surely for both of you to store your disks in alternating orientation, ie if the first disk has the metal upwards, then the second should have it downwards and so on.
This way, each of you will be 50 per cent right and 50 per cent wrong simultaneously.
Again, if this takes all the fun out of life, you could keep your disks all the same way up in a carrying pouch and then haul that around by slinging it into your bag at random, not knowing whether you have got it the right or wrong way up until you arrive at your destination.
Regarding the fleas debate, Keith 'Heavy Fettle' Pomfret tells me that the Acorn Atom had more than all the others put together.
I can't pretend that I understand what on earth the pair of you are on about.

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